LEAGUE CUP SOUTHAMPTON PROVE THAT FOOTBALL MAKES NO SENSE

LEAGUE CUP SOUTHAMPTON PROVE THAT FOOTBALL MAKES NO SENSE - THE WARM-UP 2 hours ago

There isn't a single person in the world that thought Southampton were going to knock Manchester City out of the League Cup. Except Southampton's coach and players. They knew what they were up to, and they've left the League Cup wide open. Somebody fun might even win it. Meanwhile, Joao Felix and Chelsea are in a mutually beneficial short-term relationship. Nobody's looking for commitment.

Put your hand up if you saw that coming. Now put your hand down, you big lying liar, you. In the league this season, Manchester City have 27 more points than Southampton and have scored 30 more goals, while conceding 17 fewer. In the League Cup, however, they scored no goals to Southampton's two, and Pep Guardiola's most reliable and trustworthy competition will be going elsewhere this season.

Football is a very silly place.

Actually, having said that, you may keep your hand up if - and only if - you are a member of Southampton's playing or coaching staff. (Also, hello and well done.) Because this wasn't a smash and grab. This was a team that had a plan, and one that amounted to more than just 'survive for a bit and see what happens'. They went at City, got themselves a lead that they deserved, doubled it, and then rode out an hour of football against one of the best teams in the world with comparatively little fuss.

Obviously they had a little fortune in the granular moments. Why Stefan Ortega was standing 10 yards off his line and waving a cardboard sign that said "Go On Then, Lob Me, I Dare You", only he knows. But Manchester City are a smooth and well-oiled machine designed to cruise through fixtures like this at half-speed. Rotation is built in. Rotation means a second team better than most clubs' first teams. What happened?

Southampton happened, and they kept happening. Even without his perfectly taken dunk over Ortega's wandering mind, Moussa Djenepo was the best midfielder on the pitch. Kyle Walker-Peters played like he heard you laughing at those links to Manchester United and Chelsea, and was really quite put out. Duje Caleta-Car was huge, Gavin Bazunu was a faultless sweeper. City didn't manage a siege; they didn't even muster a shot on target.

All managers demand aggression and intensity when they come into a new club because these are things that failing clubs usually lack. Sometimes they even get it. And Nathan Jones's new side has now put together three consecutive halves of precisely both. Whether we're dealing with some kind of cup exception remains to be seen, but we're guessing that Frank Lampard's feeling a little more nervous today than he was a week ago. Everton host Southampton on Saturday, and it's the biggest game of the weekend.

What? Oh, right, there's a north London derby and a Manchester derby. Well, fine. Common sense suggests that City's performance here won't have too much to say about City's approach at the weekend. But we're guessing that De Bruyne, Haaland and Rodri were supposed to have a night off, which they didn't get. And we're hoping, in the interests of chaos, that this persuades Guardiola to try this "ridiculous" plan he's been teasing us with. Treat it like it's a big Champions League tie, Pep. Go on. Go on.

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to win the match 4-2."

Yes, that's Iker Casillas and Sergio Aguero - Pique has important friends and is not afraid to use them. Even, apparently, when they're not officially allowed to take part. Here is Enigma, apparently a current La Liga player who has to play masked for fear of his club and agent finding out. Nice.